My 3 Year Journey

Today is my 3 year journey of blogging!!!  I started this blog in 2012 and have written off and on ever since then…  2012 was a tumultuous year full of so many ups and downs.  It was the year that I learned to feel, love, and experience joy.  I also experienced sever heartbreak after my break up.

2012-2013

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My sister and I stayed up late in Seattle, we had gone to the Cathedral for Mass and to pray and now here we were on the rooftop of our hotel with our parents ready to ring in the new year excitedly keeping our eyes fixed on the Space Needle.  It was definitely a night to remember.  2011 had been a year of growth and healing for me and I was ready for a fresh start.  The next day we did a resolution run followed by a polar bear plunge.  I couldn’t wait to get home to tell my best friend all about it.  We had been running every single day in December.

I enjoyed our talks and the way he came to church with me on Sunday always respectful of my beliefs and supportive of my faith.  At the end of January we decided to be together even though we knew that he had plans to travel the world and I didn’t want to hold him back.  The next three months were magical and I learned so much about myself and how to love.   My biggest struggle was feeling.  Now that I was no longer numb feelings were a new and scary sensation to me.  Now and then I still had flashbacks and nightmares from the PTSD, but he always knew when to tell me that he believed that I was strong.  And melted my heart when he caught me off guard by telling me that I was beautiful.

Our break up was a mutual decision.  He wanted us to stay together even in a long distance relationship, but I didn’t want to hold him back.  The pain felt so unbearable for months and most of all I missed my best friend.  That was when I started to take an interest in blogging.  A girl that I used to swim with wrote a blog that I would read with inspiration about love, faith, and life.  It inspired me to be creative and that is when I started drawing in my sketch book.  I needed a creative outlet.

That summer was pretty glorious despite my broken heart.  My sister and I went lake swimming every friday morning at 7:00 am.  I loved our lake swim ritual.  I was also coaching swim team and we had our first travel meet in Moses lake.  Fall was hard.  My friends at the time, pushed me to try online dating and I went on a couple dates.  There was the good, the bad, and the ugly, but none of them was right.  I became friends with one of them and he thought that writing a blog was a good idea.

I started this blog in December of 2012 exactly 3 years ago…  At the time I was also in a very low place and feeling more and more depressed.

I don’t remember what we did for the new year that year, but shortly after Valentine’s Day something happened that knocked the ground from under me.  I moved out into a charming little house downtown.  Looking back, I didn’t have a lot back then, but I really did love my space in that house with the beautiful view and the picturesque windows.  Once I moved out, it became harder for me to maintain my blog with no computer.  I wrote a couple of times using my phone, but it disappeared for a little while…

In the spring of 2013 I got a job at the downtown YMCA.  It was the same Y that he took me to sometimes after our runs. Sometimes I would daydream and imagine that he would walk in while I was working front desk and I would jump over the counter to give him a great big hug.  For some reason I thought that after a year in Taiwan, he would come home to at least visit his mom.  We were emailing each other that first year and it was going pretty well, but then in October of 2013 he just disappeared…

2013-2014

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I moved again into a house full of personal trainers and an adorable fluffy cat named Chaser.  That fall I also got offered and accepted my dream coaching job for King Aquatic Club where I got to work with my former coach/forever mentor.  Life was chaotic at that point.  I would rise at 3:45 am drive to work at 4:30 and open the Y, work until 10:30 then rush to the valley to teach swim lessons from 11:45-1:30 then at 3 I would head north for my commute to coach swim team.  Sometimes I would’t get home until after 9 pm then do it all over again.  At the end of december I felt like my safety was jeopardized at my front desk job so I started teaching water group fitness instead, but that did not make my life any less crazy.  In February of 2014 I had to move downstairs so even though I didn’t have a long way to go it was still a lot of work.

My schedule continued like this until it all fell apart…  In March of 2014 my car broke down.  I was thankfully able to get more hours at the health club and I took the bus there.  It was usually a 1.5-2 hour trip.  It was not fun at all, but it gave me time to think.  I HAD to move closer to work.

In June of 2014 I found a place to move closer to work in a much quieter community.  I was able to take the bus from there, but the downfall was that the bus was not always offered so that made my transportation even more complicated and almost worst than before.  In August I got a car and was offered a full time position at the pool in addition to the head coach job.  I was absolutely thrilled they even offered me a manager position but then later gave it to someone else which was really disappointing.

In October of 2014 I met my man.  It took us a little while to get to know each other and we stopped talking After last Christmas, but officially got back together in May of 2015.  He is such an amazing man who is driven, highly intelligent, with the best sense of humor.  He inspires me every day to challenge myself to be better.

2015 

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Fast forward to Now December 2015.  I have overcome so many challenges and I have many challenges ahead that will help shape me into the woman I want to become.  I am ready for this.  And I will write through it ALL.

Thank you my dear darling friends for reading and always being so supportive of me.  It really means the world to me!!!

Peace, Love, and Blessings Always,

Alana Xoxoxo

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