Transform Your Life Project: Week 2

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It was nice to not have work this morning thanks to Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but as I was driving I noticed that all the popular radio channels spent more time thanking the Seahawks for their hard work this season rather than commemorating the holiday.  

Today is Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday and we commemorate his dream of a multicultural nation united in peace and Justice.  A lot of people have brilliant thoughts and ideas, but it takes a truly courageous person to walk their talk.  Martin Luther King Jr. put his thoughts and intentions into action and he did it in a non-violent and peaceful way.  This was revolutionary especially during a time when he and his family and many other families were surrounded by prejudice, hate, and violence.  I feel blessed to live in a time where we are free to express our beliefs, thoughts, opinions, and live our truths.

This week was better for me health-wise.  I think I have finally kicked that flu and sickness that has been plaguing me, but I feel down about the sick days I had to take from work.  I never had to call in sick in the past.  I am usually pretty healthy.  Tonight I am going to try to just let that go and stay positive.  Tomorrow I am going back and I will just do my very best.

I got to visit my boyfriend over the weekend.  He invited me to come over Saturday night to share some champagne, but I was in the midst of my studies so I didn’t go that evening.  (Could it be that I am growing up and becoming more responsible?!  School work before downtime?)  I am in no way a party girl and he is not a party person either, but I never ever turn down a chance to spend time with him.

Nothing is wrong between us, in fact things are better than they have ever been between us.  We are growing closer in our relationship and have worked hard to establish a strong bond of trust between us.  I believe that I am finally learning how to prioritize and be responsible about my time.  I rarely ever talk about it anymore, but in my early twenties I barely got myself out of an extremely  mentally and physically abusive relationship.  It has been a long path and road to recovery since then, but I HAVE been healing.  Since then I dated jerks and was in another controlling relationship.  Years later I have Finally broken that unhealthy cycle.

In my past, I made the other people in my life (family, friends, boyfriend) my focus and center of attention (often neglecting myself.)  Christopher encourages me to take care of myself and build myself up so I can be stronger and even more independent than I already am.  He is unselfish, kind, and wants what’s best for me and I have learned to want what is best for me too.  It has been a process.  I am so glad that I don’t sabotage myself like I used to.  I think that this is another reason why this transformation project is so important to me.  I want to change, transform, evolve, and become the very best version of myself.   I know that it will not happen overnight, but this time I will NOT let myself quit.

I did visit him yesterday.  We had such a nice visit together.  Last night he took me out to dinner at this nice restaurant with a view of the water.  We talked, laughed, and made future plans…  Today he had to work even though it was a holiday.  I was planning on staying until after he came back from work today and spending more time with him or even spending the night up there then driving back super early before work, but knowing myself; I knew that would not be realistic…  I could have pulled it off no doubt, but I would have been stressed to no end and that would have detracted the joy of our visit.  While I have come a long ways in my healing I do still have to work on managing my stress and worries.  

So I did what was best for me.  I decided to drive back sooner than later so that I would be less likely to drown in traffic.  He understood although it is always hard to say goodbye…I was planning on taking the 6:20 Mixxedfit class and working out tonight, but I decided to take today as a rest day.  My last rest day was Thursday when Christopher came home and surprised me for dinner.  I do feel like these rests are a little close together, but in my past I had a tendency to hit the workouts super hard for about a week or two then miss a day and get all discouraged then just fizzle out.  I am changing that.  This time around if I miss a day here or there I won’t despair.  I will just get back on track.

A big success for me today was exercising my WILLPOWER!  I usually always stop at this particular donut shop by Christopher’s work and get a half-dozen then eat more than I should.  I had been planning on it last night then all afternoon, but as I was approaching it I drove past it and it was EMPOWERING!  I resisted the temptation that I usually give in to!  

Another weekly sticking point for me has been getting overwhelmed about what to pack for lunch.  I thought about getting ambitious and trying to cook something, but I knew how tired I was from fighting traffic for hours.  I also felt inclined to stop at Starbuck’s for a drive-thru frapuccino or Dairy Queen for a Blizzard.  Good gosh, the temptations were rampant along the way.  I did decide to pick up a sandwich and eat half for dinner then save the other half for tomorrow’s lunch.   That was my compromise.  I got dinner AND didn’t have to spend so much time pondering tomorrow’s lunch.

I picked up a healthier version of an ice-cream sandwich with the intent of enjoying it tonight, but I think I will save it for another day.  This exercising willpower has become a game and I can confidently say that I like it!  

I am still scared and stressed about going back to work tomorrow, but I am going to try not to stress for the rest of my night.  Tomorrow will come ready or not!  Tonight I will brew myself a cup of comforting chamomile and draw a hot bubble bath!  Then I will get to bed earlier then usual.

January:

Build My Foundation

A Girls gotta get her beauty sleep!(this applies to you guys too!)
Eat Clean.
Move Your Body!
Plan your track and track your plan (keep a food journal)
Create a Vision Board
Do What you must.
Create Healthier Habits.

I want this week to be a good one!  I am going to leave all bad, self-defeating thoughts behind and welcome joy into my life.  I kind of have a tendency to worry and complain a lot.  I want to shift that into something better!

Have a Wonderful week my friends!  Thanks for stopping by!

Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,

Alana Xoxoxo 

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