Transform Your Life Project: Week 9

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At this point, I feel totally and completely exhausted and I am not exactly sure why.  It is not from working out hard because these past two weeks have more or less been recovery days for me.  Am I exhausted from being lazy?  I guess that could be possible.

I think more than anything that I am mentally exhausted.  I have been spending so much time and energy stressing about the future.  I am stressed about starting evening classes next quarter and not being able to fit everything in.  I am stressed about my schedule changing.  And this past weekend I was so stressed because I couldn’t get in touch with my boyfriend and I started creating all these stories in my head about everything that must be wrong.  On Saturday night, I was a wreck.

When it was all said and done; nothing was wrong.  He has just been super busy working around the clock and his phone is clearly defunct with the shattered screen and faulty functionality.  I clearly need to work on my stress levels and not allow my worries and anxiety to get out of hand.

Today I have felt completely wiped out, exhausted, and unmotivated.  And I have noticed that these past few days I have been grasping for food and coffee to give me energy.  I don’t want to depend on food as much as I have been.  I feel worn out, stressed out, and worried about money.  When I switched jobs in September; I knew that it would be a sacrifice.  I thought I did the math, but I don’t think I realized that including the summer months I would be making half of what I used to make each month.  It was My decision, but it is still a significant pay-cut.

There are days when that in itself is super discouraging.  I am still working really hard.  I just need to remind myself WHY I chose to make that sacrifice.  I wanted to focus on my studies and moving forward with my life.  If I was working all those hours that I used to work; I would not have time to study.  And even still; I haven’t been studying as much as I could.

What are some good things that happened to me this past week?

  1. Now that I have a puppy I am spending more time outside getting fresh air.
  2. My calico kitty Alleyjandra did not get out that one night (I will have to tell you that story in another post.)
  3. I had a good week at work.
  4. Over the weekend I cleaned the kitchen thoroughly and cleaned both bathrooms.
  5. I made progress with going through my things and purging some of the clutter.
  6. Last night I re-committed myself to my computer studies.
  7. I had a wonderful visit with Christopher and it was nice to know that everything was just fine.
  8. I actually love living in the middle room.  It is the perfect amount of space and easy to keep tidy.

So good things are happening I just need to keep my eyes and heart open to them.  I started the year off great!  I was going to the gym regularly.  Lifting weights.  Logging my food on Myfitnesspal.  Then in February I started to get massages and that was when I started incorporating my “rest days” to get the full benefit from my massages.  We got a green house and I started gardening.  Then in the midst of all that I moved out of the master suite and into our middle room.  Then immediately following that a few days later, Christopher came home with our new puppy.  Surprise SURPRISE!!!

I think what I am getting from all of this is the realization that I need to work on my transitions.  I work so hard to establish a routine and I feel amazing once I have my habit established, but just the thought of transition or change stresses me out.  And in most of these cases the changes threw me completely off balance.  I want to work on being more flexible and going with the flow.  Being fluid like water and open to the changes.  I guess that means that I need to grow deeper roots and become more centered in my life.

This is ALL a part of the Transformation process and project, right?  I think that I could benefit from practicing yoga and meditation.  This is good timing.  I have started my spring cleaning so that is a definite plus!

I don’t think that I have been doing the best with the “Let’s Move For A Better World challenge.”  I started out strong and I wanted to badly to fully utilize this opportunity to take lots of classes at another gym.  I was even hoping to start working out in the morning before work, but I haven’t been able to work out the logistics.  I have a good routine of waking up at 6 am to take care of Ruby and the cats AND make my breakfast smoothie.  That has been a bit of an adjustment in itself.  I am going to choose to be proud of that!

Before we got Ruby,  I could barely pry myself out of bed at 6:45 and that was barely enough time to run out the door so I AM making progress.  I just need to stay open to possibilities.

Here is a reminder that shows my goals for March:

March:

Meditation and Mindfulness

  • Meditate.

  • Breathe Deeply.

  • Practice Yoga.

  • Sing.

  • Begin Spring Cleaning.

January: 

Build My Foundation

  • A Girls  gotta get her beauty sleep!(this applies to you guys too!)
  • Eat Clean.
  • Move Your Body!
  • Plan your track and track your plan (keep a food journal
  • Create a Vision Board
  • Do What you must.
  • Create Healthier Habits.

February:

Focus On Faith

  • Go to church on Sunday.
  • Learn about faith.
  • Count my blessings. 

I haven’t been logging my food as consistently as I was on Myfitnesspal these past two weeks.  And there are a lot of other things that need work.  I am just going to start from where I am.  I won’t beat myself up about the past anymore because that’s done.  And fretting about the future won’t help anyone.  So I am going to just more forward from right here and now.

I am still really tired so I think that I am going to get to bed a lot earlier than usual and hopefully that will help me to recover and feel energized by tomorrow.  I think that it is a shame and a waste to have gorgeous days and good health, but to feel too exhausted to enjoy any of it.  I don’t want to be that person anymore.  

I want to be STRONG and PROUD and live my LIFE OUT LOUD!!!!

I hope you had a Marvelous Monday, my dear darling friends!  What is the BEST thing that happened today?

Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,

Alana

 

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