Nov. 3: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?
I have always admired your determination and willingness to try. From a young age you were always open to learning and trying new things. Almost everything you did was a struggle. You learned slower than everyone else, but you never gave up and before long you were able to excel.
You were the unsuspecting contender who never intimidated anyone because they believed that they were better than you. Because of this you had very few friends. Even the other kids parents basically ignored you. You made it a point to remember how this made you feel and you made a promise deep within your heart to NEVER treat anyone else that way. You were bullied and excluded and it made you feel small, but your family and faith kept you going.
You were always open to constructive criticism and loved learning new things. With time, dedication, and practice you were able to start excelling and winning. All of a sudden everyone knew your name and people who used to ignore and exclude you wanted to be your friend. The contrast was eyeopening and revealed who your true friends were.
You had Enormously Gorgeous dreams and you chased those dreams RELENTLESSLY!
Somewhere along the way, life started to knock you down. You lived a sheltered life growing up and had poor self-esteem and lacked self-confidence. You settled because you thought that you couldn’t do any better. You were used, abused, beaten, and broken down. You pulled yourself out of that ordeal and faced many more ordeals after that. You got stuck in a victim -cycle. The ground got pulled from beneath you.
You faced severe PTSD, deep depression, anxiety, body memory, nightmares, and flashbacks and you spent years looking over your shoulder, tip-toeing on eggshells and thinking about changing your name…
Good for you! Through it all you NEVER turned to drugs and addictions (other than food and self-sabotage). It was so hard, heart-breaking, and painful. It often felt like no one understood. People who loved you could not always refrain from telling you it was your fault and you got yourself into those situations. For a long time you believed them…
You were beautifully broken, but look at how far you have come! Everyday you are growing, healing, and becoming the woman you have always wanted to be. You are recreating yourself and reinventing your life.
YOU are a Phoenix who is rising from her ashes!!!
Never stop believing in yourself. You got this Girlie!
Love, Joy, and Blessings,
P.S. SUI is latin for self. (Dear Sui = Dear Self)